By Bolty

Fed up of all those crappy compuserve CDs cluttering your desk?  Not too
proficient  with  the  old rom-writer and have a stack of dead gold cds?
Or perhaps your music cds skip cos they're scratched to fuck.

By far the most interesting thing you can do with these discs is to wang
them  in  the  microwave for as long as you dare.  All cooking times are
approximate, based on 750 Watt ovens.

 5 secs - Crackling sound commences.
 7 secs - Bright blue electrical arcs appear across the disk.
10 secs - More violent sparks and crackles. Smell of burning plastic
12 secs - Small flames appear then die out on the disc's surface.
14 secs - Smoke starts to billow out of microwave.
15 secs - CD now on fire. Overpowering smell of burnt plastic.

If  the  CD  is  cooked  only briefly, you will get an attractive "crazy
paving"  effect  on  the surface of the disc.  Longer cooking times will
add  black  burn  marks where the arcs have zapped the disc, and it will
also be slightly miss-shapen.

Hint:   don't  place  the disk face down on the glass microwave dish, as
the ink melts and its a bugger to clean off.
 

Here are a number of suggestions for other uses:

Frisbees

Glue them to your ceiling for a "disco" effect.

Shiny beer mats

Alloy wheels for Minis

Make then into a necklace in a dismal attempt to be a cyberpunk

Snap them up to make jigsaw puzzles.

Cheep mirrored bathroom tiles.

Keep them so it looks like you've got more CDs than your mates.

Melt them and bend them into ashtrays.  Blue Peter did this with vinyl

Scrape the aluminium off and recycle it with you coke cans.

Strap it to your forehead to look like a doctor.

Tie 2 together for a cool peep-hole bra.

Hang them above a cot on coat hangers to make a mobile.

Put  them  in  cases with "Hits of the 60s" on the front and sell at car
boot sales.

Smoke  some  weed,  then  just sit and stare at the rainbow patterns all
day.

Use as a shaving mirror.

Collect them in an album

Use the hole in the middle to filter out, say, Smarties from Minstrels.

See how much you can scratch them before they stop working.

Save  money  on  local  phone bills by reflecting sunlight with them and
communicating in morse code.

Have  hours  of  fun with "Sofa Hockey".  Find two opposing sofas (desks
will  do  in  an  office) Each competitor takes of a shoe.  This is your
bat.   The  CD  is the puck.  Goals are scored by getting the puck under
the opposing sofa.  The first person to 10 goals wins.  The loser has to
keep the CDs.

Use them as bases for Sci-fi models.

Play hoopla with them.

Convert then into Key fobs.

Use then as bookmarks.

Paint them gold and sell them as blanks to gullible types for £3 each

Read the binary of them under a microscope "for a laugh"

Use them instead of a potentially dangerous compass for drawing circles

Decorate the christmas tree with them.

Sell them to anorexics to use as hula hoops.  Or doughnuts.

Give them to charity.

Use as bicycle reflectors.

Grind them up and use as glitter on your Blue Peter Christmas card.

Grind  them up and give them to Katy Hill for use as glitter on her Blue
Peter Christmas card.  Try and get her to shag you in the process.

Erm, I'm getting a bit desperate know, so that's all for now.



end